Sawasdee

Transit day. Which means I’ll keep this mercifully brief.

One of the quieter perks of The Key was a sit-down, à la carte breakfast in the main dining room on disembarkation morning. No buffet chaos, no jostling for toast. Just coffee, eggs, and a civilised farewell to the ship.

We ate around 8am and disembarked at about 8:45. Nothing in the process itself was slow, but the line snaking off the ship certainly was. One crew member commented that the morning had been unusually quiet until suddenly… it wasn’t. Everyone, it seemed, had chosen to leave at exactly the same time. My guess? A high proportion of locals, none needing to catch flights. I do have to mention here that Royal Caribbean has done a great job of moderating the Asian tendency to queue jump...

My mother had arranged for the same driver to collect us at the port and take us to the airport. From there, we boarded Scoot for our flight to Chiang Mai. Thank you to our Amex cards which fed us all breakfast number 2 as well as an early lunch at the lounge.

This leg of the trip was always meant to be economical. With several other adventures on the calendar, restraint was required. When we started brainstorming affordable, short getaways that would work across generations, Southeast Asia was the obvious answer. Chiang Mai won out for its food, familiarity, and the fact that the kids had never been to northern Thailand.

Scoot was… Scoot. No frills, no fuss, exactly what we paid for. The cabin crew were friendlier than many full-service airlines, and we landed fifteen minutes early, which in budget airline terms feels like winning the lottery. Immigration at Chiang Mai airport was efficient, with luggage coming out quickly as well. We did have a minor snafu when the children noticed that Opa was being taken away into some small interrogation room! Thankfully the immigration officials were friendly and helpful and let me back into try and help. Minor problem of the Thailand Arrival card somehow not attaching itself properly onto his passport. Phew!

Hello again Singapore

For those who love details...the menu for breakfast at disembarkation

Crab benedict. Tasty

For those who are still enamoured with the Dubai chocolate craze. The OG Fix had a pop up at Changi Terminal 1 until 30 Jan

Decent food offering! Hainanese chicken rice was one of the made to order choiced

Sticking with the no-middleman theme, I’d once again organised things directly through a local travel agency. It was inexpensive, so expectations were appropriately calibrated. First impressions were solid. Communication was clear, airport pickup was on time, the van was clean, and the driver friendly.

Our base in Chiang Mai was the Duangtawan Hotel. And honestly, it perfectly reflected the overall tone of this part of the trip. Well-located. Four-star on paper. Right near major hotels and the night bazaar. Very much “Asian standard,” in the sense that nothing was actually wrong… but everything was a little tired.

The rooms were spacious, the air-conditioning worked beautifully, and the facilities were extensive — including a surprisingly enormous gym with every machine imaginable. But everything was old, and the décor had seen better decades. The hotel was full, largely with Asian sporting groups, which gave it a very specific energy.

Would I recommend it to clients? No. Especially not Western clients.
Would I recommend it to friends? It depends.

For my parents, it was perfect. Clean room. Good location. Easy access to shopping and food. Tick. Tick.

We’ll reserve final judgement until the sightseeing begins.
For now, it was time for sleep.

Day 5 – Goodbye Ship, Hello Chiang Mai

Our private transfer at Chiang Mai airport

Duangtawan Hotel lobby

Room definitely looked better online than in real life

So long as there was no mould in the bathroom, I'm happy

Welcome fruit punch. So so...tasted almost like fake orange juice crossed with yakult

Evening stroll to find food

Dessert time

When you're tall staying in an old Asian hotel

The big gym

All the gear...even if they were only Gen 1

There were even classes if you were that way inclined!

Even the scales looked old school. And no I did not hop on

Sea Day

It was the final day of the cruise, a sea day, and we each slipped into our own preferred version of onboard relaxation. With no ports to chase and no schedules to keep, it was very much a choose-your-own-adventure kind of day. I’ll spare you the details.

The undisputed highlight was flag trivia.

This is where the well-tutored children of Singapore demonstrated exactly what they excel at: things that can be meticulously rote-learned. After a rapid-fire round of naming twenty flags, five finalists remained. Four children...and Mal.

The knockout questions followed. Mal was understandably nervous. Losing to adults is one thing. Being beaten by children is quite another.

One contestant attempted to lip-read his parents as they mouthed the answer to “Who led India to independence?”
Nice try. Also… no. The answer is not "Handy".

In the end, the children were undone by a movie question — presumably content their parents don’t allow. Three were knocked out in a single round, leaving Mal standing victorious.

Champion.

And just like that, it was time to pack and prepare for disembarkation the next morning. The cruise chapter was closing, but fortunately, the second leg of our trip was waiting in the wings.

Day 5 - No Ports, No Plans, One Clear Winner

Morning routine of coffee orders

French toast for breakfast, because it was too much hassle to make at home

Mal vs kids

Longans and dragonfruit! 

Let's smother our fruit in chocolate because otherwise it would be too healthy

Phuket

Coral Island

Phuket, Thailand's largest island, was our stop today. 

It’s also a place I frequented as a child, though I haven’t returned since the 2004 tsunami — an event that devastated large parts of Phuket and left scars that went far beyond the physical. The scale of the rebuilding since then has been enormous, and walking through Patong now, it’s impossible not to feel both admiration for the recovery and a quiet respect for what this place has endured.

Some places carry memory differently when you come back as an adult. This felt like one of them.

We tendered into Patong Beach. The process was smooth, with boats large enough to keep things moving. One of the benefits of The Key is priority tendering. In this instance, we waited separately in The Music Hall and were allowed on first, ahead of passengers booked on Royal Caribbean excursions. Presumably, suite guests had their own tender via a different loading platform. Either way, the entire process took around 30 minutes.

Approaching Phuket

"Rope dropping" the tender. Would have been right at the front if Opa hadn't walked so slowly...

From the ship, onto the loading platform and onto the tender

In the a/c section!

Apparently very cold...

The jetty at Patong Beach where the cruise passengers are dropped off

Phuket post tsunami

Our ship anchored in the distance

We walked a short fifty metres to the Patong Seaview Hotel to meet our transfer. As with Penang, I’d searched for a local operator who could deliver what we wanted at a reasonable price. This time, the brief was simple but ambitious: away from crowds. Not the easiest request when a cruise ship empties several thousand people onto an island, albeit a large one.

We opted to hire a private catamaran, fully crewed and accompanied by a “guide.” The plan was Maithon Island for snorkeling straight off the boat, followed by Coral Island for lunch and more structured activities. Water, soft drinks, snacks, and fruit were included onboard — and, most importantly, there was a toilet.

The transfer from Patong Beach to Chalong Bay Pier took about thirty minutes. From there, we checked in, met our guide, and boarded our catamaran. First reaction: relief. It was lovely. Spacious, plenty of room both inside and out, and surprisingly good shade. The crew were quiet but attentive, which suited us just fine.

Waiting for our transfer like refugees my mother says

Our transfer - clean and comfortable

From the office at the marina, we boarded a more "traditional" vehicle to take us right to the pier

Open air, no seat belts

Boarding our rather nice catamaran!

Life jackets on until we're out of sight lol

Our great guide Pari, getting the drinks out

One of the snack selection

There was space inside too if you didn't like the wind

More than enough shade outside

Last moments awake

Crew took photos too

"Mum I don't get sunburnt" Guess who was sunburnt at the end of the day

Our first stop was Maithon Island. We were told we were lucky, as rougher seas the previous day had prevented boats from visiting the islands at all. That said, anyone prone to seasickness should still deploy their usual coping strategies. These were not glassy waters. For our family, however, the gentle rolling motion had the opposite effect. Within minutes, most were sprawled at the front of the boat, fast asleep.

Maithon Island is privately owned and lightly developed, known for its quiet resort, coral reefs, and relatively calm waters. While there is infrastructure on the island, access by boat keeps it feeling far removed from the chaos of Phuket’s main beaches. We anchored just offshore and spent about an hour snorkelling, which turned out to be enough. The water temperature was perfect. Warm without being cloying, cool without the initial shiver. There were lots of fish. They were colourful and they were not shy.

On the way to Coral Island, we stopped briefly to try our hand at fishing using hand reels off the side of the boat. The crew assured us that two-kilogram red snappers and groupers were commonly caught. Not today, apparently. The currents were too strong. A convenient explanation, and one we accepted without argument.

Coral Island was where the day’s real adventures began. The first challenge was simply getting onto the island. We were dropped at a Squid Game worthy floating jetty of death that stretched toward shore, bobbing enthusiastically with each wave. Fortunately, when we arrived, it was relatively quiet. 

When it came time to leave, however, it was survival of the fittest. Think It’s a Knockout. Children bawling. Adults frozen with fear. Others slipping, losing their balance and plunging into the water fully clothed. Entertainment of the highest order. I’m not entirely sure how my parents survived the experience, but survive they did. And we all made it back onto our catamaran to tell the tale.

The island itself was surprisingly beautiful. Was it commercialised? Yes. But we didn’t mind. It was quiet enough during the first couple of hours to genuinely enjoy. The sand was white and clean. The water clear and warm. The lunch that was included in our package was tasty. There was plenty of shade, chair and lounge hire was cheap, and the toilets and freshwater showers were regularly cleaned.

The parasailing and diving activities almost certainly did not meet any OH&S criteria, but they were inexpensive. Would I recommend this to my clients? Probably not.

For this family, though, it served its purpose.

The day did end on a less positive note. Elliot was sea-urchined. His hand was vinegared, limed, and soaked in hot water in generous quantities. Thankfully, dial-a-plastic-surgeon came through with free advice.

The child would survive.

Back on board, dinner was at the buffet. Mal headed off to a pickleball tournament. With Elliot's pickleball hand injured, he drafted a replacement at the last minute and apparently chose well, emerging victorious as champion.

Everyone crashed shortly afterwards.

It was, all things considered, a very good day.

Day 4 – Phuket: Catamarans, Private Islands & a Jetty of Death

Water activities off Maithon Island

Beautiful air and water temps!

Fresh fruit. Super sweet pineapples

Fishing. No luck!

The jetty of death. Looks deceptively calm because I was too scared to have my phone out when the jetty was moving!

Beautiful Coral Island

Lunch which was included in our package

The actual beach that we were on

Front row seating! It was AUD15 to rent these seats

Approved by everyone! The shade stayed throughout the whole time we were on the island

The water really is that clear and blue

Maitai on the beach

A not so happy ending. Sea urchin vs Elliot

We made it through the run on the jetty of death. Waiting for our catamaran to pick us up

Oma's bag of tricks

Mal's DIY "drawing out" agent

Looks like he didn't wash his hands properly after wiping his bum...

Pickleball champion and MVP